fbpx
Categories
Uncategorized

Mini-Mani!

Cracked nails, tough cuticles, dry hands, you know the drill! And, cold weather doesn’t necessarily produce this sorry state of dry digits.  Dehydration and damage can happen at any time of the year making our grabbers rough to the touch and nails more like flaky talons. It’s water that does the drying out!

This universal problem has been plaguing me for eons. But, recently, I discovered something that really helps — especially with the chronically calcified cuticles.

It’s regular old vaseline. And, you rub it into your cuticles every night before going to bed. In the morning your cuticles will be pliable enough to be pushed back and your nails will be smoother to the touch!

Voila! You’ve had an easy mini-manicure!

 

 

Categories
DIY Home Decor Home Projects Lighting Uncategorized

Light Up Your Life, or, At Least Light Up Your Room!

 

SHINE A LITTLE LIGHT…..

I think it’s a pretty safe bet to say that the unadorned lightbulb, hanging from the ceiling casting harsh light is not a pretty picture. Memorable and stark, maybe, but not beautiful. We all want to suffuse our rooms with gracious lighting, but, lamps are expensive. There’s no doubt about it. Even when you go to purchase a light fixture at a discount store you can plunk down a lot of jingle. The one possible exception can be Goodwill or the Salvation Army, but, it’s often hard to find something that you want.

So, I have forayed into the “Land of Lighting” and stopped at the nexus of “self-reliance” to figure out and EASY and inexpensive way to make my own lamp.

I’m emphasizing EASY because I went in search of an attractive vessel that has a hole on both ends — because otherwise I would have to hollow out the middle from top to bottom. I can do that, but, BABY STEPS….

So, I found this glass wasp trap with a cork at the top. It’s PERFECT for a lamp! It’s a nice size, nice shape, has a hole in the bottom and has “feet” which lift it up from the surface.  This is important because otherwise I would have had to make base or some other accommodation for the cord.

Other ideas that I entertained were:

 

Vases

Flower Pots

Piggy Banks

Baskets (if the weave is large enough, you could slip the cord through…)

Wine Bottles (although you’d have to drill a hole through the glass)

But this wasp trap is a great place to start!

 

Next, I went to my local ACE Hardware and purchased this lamp kit.  I was THRILLED! They have done the heavy lifting for me! It really is sort of “Plug and Play.”

The cork in the opening of the wasp trap comes out easily and makes an excellent “base” for the neck of the lamp.

 

Here are the tools that I used:

A ruler

Pencil

Pliers

Knife

Philips head screwdriver

Regular screwdriver

Drill

Use the ruler to find the center of the cork.

 

Open the lamp kit and find the post that will fit into the cork. Drill a hole a hole into the cork that will accommodate the post.

Put the post into the cork.

Put the neck into post, using the washer (found in the kit) to set the height of the neck.

Screw in the socket.

Take the cord and

 

put it up through the hole in the bottom of the vessel.

 

Pull it up through the neck of the lamp.

Pull the cord apart, so that it you have two wires.

Wrap the wire around the screws on either side of the socket – going clockwise.

Using the Philips Head Screwdriver, tighten them firmly (but don’t overtighten) going clockwise.

Put the cap onto the socket. It will “click” in.

Screw in the light bulb and you have MAGIC!!!!

Shades….Another story!

I did a little research and basically, you should match the shape of the shade to the shape of the base. And, in terms of sizing, your shade should be about 2/3 the size of your base. The shade that I chose might be a little big, for the base, but, I still think it looks nice with the patterned glass.

When it came to attaching the shade, I opted for EASY again. This shade, which I purchased at Bed, Bath and Beyond, just screws onto the socket. Easy Peasy, Lemon-Squeezy!

Eh-VOILA!!! LET THERE BE LIGHT!!!

Categories
Uncategorized

Death and Taxes, Literally, Part 3: Wrapping Up

Paying Bills

You will need to pay off the bills with monies from the estate account. You will also need to close out credit card accounts, etc. You must send them “your” documents, along with a letter telling them that you are the Executor/Administrator. I recommend sending each packet Return/Receipt or at least Registered Mail.

A couple of things that are important for you to know about bills and accounts:

*The debts should be paid first

*A decedent’s debts do not follow the heirs. That means, if you run out of money, you (or the other heirs) are not personally responsible for taking up the mantle and paying off the debts. If this happens, I would meet with an attorney to decide how to handle any remaining creditors.

Debt and Demand

In many states there is a procedure called “Debt and Demand” where the Commissioner of Accounts publishes an advertisement asking all creditors to come forward within a given period of time.  The Debt and Demand typically comes late in the process, not long before the estate is closed. It’s a last-ditch effort to pay off any bills that are hanging out there in the stratosphere.  If no one comes forward within this period, then they can’t come back and sue the estate (or the heirs).

Credit Cards, Insurance Policies, etc.

You are going to need to send your “documents” to each credit card company, insurer, AT&T, Verizon, Comcast, etc. so that you can close out the account and pay the balance.

This may take some time, because you may not be able to find bills, etc. right away. Just keep at it…..

Also, you will need to contact online sites such as Facebook and Genealogy.com to let them know that your loved one has passed away.  They may want to see the Death Certificate and your “Appointment” letter from the Clerk of the Court.

Taxes

I would recommend that you use a professional tax preparer or a CPA.

The IRS requires some specific documents, in addition to your documents (letter from the court, IRS EIN, death certificate), you will need to send them:

*Form 1310  Statement of Person Claiming Refund Due a Deceased Taxpayer

*Form 56 Statement of Person Claiming Refund Due a Deceased Taxpayer

These forms are available on their website, irs.gov and lets the IRS know that you are the Administrator or Executor.

I can’t emphasize enough how important it is to submit Forms 1310 and 56. Apparently the IRS is extremely concerned about estates and are unwilling to release refunds until they  have received these forms and your documents.

You can contact them by starting with the office in your state.  Those telephone numbers are available on the IRS website.

Two important tips: Have all your information in front of you when you call and call early in the day.  The offices open at 7:00 a.m. (in every time zone) and calling at 7:00 will reduce your “wait time,” etc. dramatically!

Commissioner of Accounts

In most states there is a Commissioner of Accounts (or the equivalent) for each locality.

You will need to supply that person with the valuation of estate and an accounting.  The valuation is typically required after about 6 months. In terms of finding the values of your loved one’s assets, you’ll need to research the values and total them to come up with a total amount.  Some ways to conduct this research are:

*hiring an appraiser,

*eBay is an excellent resource for finding items which are similar and then using their valuations,

*looking at Blue Book values for vehicles, 

*and, using the most recent real estate assessments for property. 

The Commissioner of Accounts will most likely have a form for you to complete and submit.

The Accounting will include every financial transaction that you have conducted for the estate. It is typically due 16 months after the estate is opened. You must submit it before you can close the estate.

KEEP ALL YOUR RECEIPTS AND COPIES OF YOUR CHECKS. KEEP COPIES OF EVERY FINANCIAL TRANSACTION! You will need to show exactly what came in to the estate account and what went out. This is a Very Big Deal!

Attorneys

It is absolutely ok to consult an estate attorney.  How to find one?  Start by asking your friends. You don’t have to go to a huge firm — there are many fine lawyers who will not charge you “an arm and a leg.” They can guide you through the maze of estate rules, regulations, disbursements and more.  You can do a lot of the legwork yourself, in order to save money, but I highly recommend working with an attorney at some level.

Last Words

I’m still working on my mother’s estate.  We have a large family and there are lots of opinions, which I am taking into account as we lurch forward. Grief is powerful and very often, not obvious — even to the people who are grieving.  It leaches silently into your (and everyone else’s) spirit and can make everyone defensive and snappish, causing behavior that is incomprehensible at the time.

*Be kind to yourself and patient with yourself.

*Everything can’t be done at once, nor should it be.

*Try not to say the mean thing that springs to your lips, try to maintain the  relationships.

*Do some nice things for yourself — and others — it will lift your spirits.

You may feel like your family or group is splitting apart. It’s amazing how powerfully the passing of a friend or relative impacts the people around them. It’s hard to anticipate how relationships change in a group when one of the members passes on, but the dynamic does change.  You hear folks say things like, “I don’t know if I’ll ever see some of these people again.”  Those feelings and the fog of confusion that descends after the your loved one has gone is completely normal. “The Orphaned Adult: Understanding And Coping With Grief And Change After The Death Of Our Parents” by Alexander Levy is a very good book about navigating the new dynamic among families and friends after the passing of a loved one.

Carry on and know that my heart is with you.

Categories
Death Estate Legal Documents Uncategorized Wills and Trusts

Death and Taxes, Literally, Part 2

POST MORTEM

Starting from Scratch-1

There is a lot to take in here, so, I’m breaking this up into 2 parts.

On the other hand, if you are like me, starting from scratch as Administrator, was entering more uncharted territory. Here are some basics that will be helpful. It is MUCH easier if there is a WILL and you are appointed Executor. It would be wonderful if your loved one had given you financial Power of Attorney, because it will speed the process for you.

Process

The hospital or hospice caregiver or coroner will send the death certificate to the funeral home. The mortuary usually will get a few (10 ?) copies for you. You may need more, and they are not cheap — approximately $12 each.

If you need to get additional copies of the death certificate you can go to the Bureau of Vital Statistics. Generally, this office is part of the state Health Department.

In many cases, the funeral home will send the death certificate to the Social Security Administration. It is very important that you know that they have done this for you, because if they don’t send it, you are responsible and you need to see to this right away.

Your other family members must petition the local court (locality where the decedent lived) and unanimously agree for you to be appointed Administrator and that you have complete ability to sell any of the properties and pay the bills. This is extremely important, because if you don’t have full responsibility, then every expense (bill) that is related to the estate will have to be equally divided among the heirs — meaning that each heir is responsible for paying her/his portion of each estate related bill. This is a nightmare scenario, because it is so logistically difficult. You need to have all the control over the estate account.

The court will require that you submit an accounting of the value of the estate at the date of death.You find this amount by looking at balances in checking and savings accounts, money market accounts, as well as the valuation of cars, homes, furnishings, etc. at the time of the decedent’s passing. The best way to figure those is to look at real estate assessments, and DMV records. In the case of household furnishings, you can look at EBAY or other prominent online auction sites.

The court will require you to pay them a percentage of the total value of the estate and require you to contact a bondsman and pay a bond.  Usually the court will have a list of approved bondsmen.

Bank Accounts

Once you have your “papers” (official designation and death certificate) you will need to close out all your loved one’s accounts and open an interest-bearing estate account (the fact that it is interest-bearing shows good stewardship on your part.)  An estate account is one that has been assigned an IRS EIN (Employer Identification Number). I asked “my” bondsman if he had any advice (I thought he might know because he was definitely a ‘veteran’ of thus process) and he told me that I should work go to a local bank to establish the estate account. He said that smaller, local banks tended to be less bureaucratic and easier to work with than large banks.

Anyway, take the counter-checks from the previous accounts and use them to establish an interest-bearing estate account. 

This estate account is CRUCIAL, because it will allow you pay the bills, the first one being the funeral home.

Here is additional information from Virginia Estate Law that gives more a detailed explanation of this process. I recommend you research your own state’s procedure for getting started. The address is: http://www.virginiaestatelaw.com/main/chapters/qualification/procedure.shtml

Place for Qualification. The personal representative must qualify in the Circuit Court located in the City or County where the decedent resided at the time of his death, or, if the decedent did not reside in Virginia at the time of his death, where the decedent owned real estate, or other assets estate assets in Virginia.

Who May Qualify. The personal representative must be an adult (age 18 or older) and must be able to obtain surety on their bond, if required.

A personal representative my be a nonresident of Virginia, but surety is required on the bond of a non-resident personal representative, unless a resident co-fiduciary is appointed.

The Clerk must also be satisfied that the person seeking qualification is suitable and competent to perform the duties of his or her office.

Preferred Person for Qualification. If the decedent had a will, the person(s) named as personal representative(s) in the will are normally appointed.

For intestate decedents (without a will) the law provides certain preferences within certain time frames. Generally, during the first 30 days after the decedent’s death, a sole distributee of the estate, or his or her designee, has preference. After 30 days, the first distributee who applies for qualification, or his designee has preference. After 60 days the clerk may grant administration to one of more creditors of the decedent, or any other person, provided that it can be shown that appropriate efforts were made to locate the preferred parties.

Factual Information. At time of qualification, the clerk will require information about the person seeking qualification, about the decedent, an estimate of the value of assets of the decedent’s estate, a list of the decedent’s heirs at law, and other information.

The clerk will also require proof of death of the decedent in the form of a death certificate or possibly an obituary published in a newspaper, if a death certificate has not yet been obtained.

Oath and Bond. The personal representative will be required to give their oath that he or she will faithfully perform the duties of their office to the best of their judgment, and if a will is probated, that the writing is the true last will of the decedent.

The personal representative will be required to give their bond in writing to secure their oath to property perform their duties, with penalty in a monetary amount at least equal to the value of the personal estate of the decedent, and if there is a will that authorizes sale of real property, the bond amount must include the value of the real property.

Surety. Unless surety on the personal representative’s bond is waived by will, corporate surety will be required (normally issued by an insurance company) to secure the bond. There are limited exceptions for banks, very small estates, and cases where all the beneficiaries of the residuary estate are also personal representatives.”

Funerals

Funerals are expensive. For a conventional funeral you can expect to pay anywhere

  from $7000 – $18000 depending on the casket, any services at the funeral home, etc.

  Here are some services that they may offer:

Providing facilities for memorial service or funeral

Dealing with necessary paperwork to enable burial or cremation

Providing information to family and friends

Placing obituaries in newspapers

Setting up a catered meal at another location following the funeral

Arranging special musical requests

Ordering and caring for floral tributes on behalf of family and friends

Accepting donations for named charities

Arranging for vehicles and staff for funeral and graveside services

Making arrangements for transfer of remains for funeral and burial services

Recording donations received

Keeping record of persons who attended any funeral or memorial service at the funeral home.

I am not sure about green funerals, and what is offered in conjunction with those rites, but, for me, the fact that the funeral home helped with some of the ins and outs of paperwork concerning the death certificate, etc. were extremely helpful.  I had way too much on my plate as it was. 

 

Next Up – Paying Bills, Closing Accounts and the IRS

Categories
Cats Inspiration Pets Uncategorized

TOUGH MAMA-TRUE GRIT

 

Small, but MIGHTY

Tough Mama – Seven Pounds of unadulterated, furry GRIT accurately describe Kitty Girl.  At approximately 77 in human years, she retains her youthful, innocent looks, her insouciance, and screaming impatience.  Her deceptively sweet face (which covers up a general ‘badass-ness’) and coy affect have served her well over the years.

I have asked her again and again how it came about that she was left to wander the alleys and byways of our neighborhood. I get a blank stare, followed by a lick of the paw, as a reply.  She CAME to US, though!  We kept hearing the screeching yells of a tiny cat who kept coming around and around.

She did tell me that she wanted to be picked up, fed and adopted.

“Don’t we all,” I said.

We fed her for months. Eventually she let us get close enough to nab and hustle her off to the vet. There was much family discussion about her status. Was she “with kittens” or had she just gained weight?  SHE wasn’t talking. Our veterinarian resolved the conflict, telling us that Kitty Girl had been fixed and had been well-treated by somebody.

“Great! We have another pet,” we said to ourselves, not anticipating Kitty Girl’s complete antipathy for any other animal.  Her motto was and is, “No Animals Other Than Me – With Me, It’s My Way or NUTHIN'” She was quite effective in her demonstration of her ethos in her insane attacks on our other pets.

So, with our usual inventiveness and aplomb, we foisted her off on my Mother, who, God Bless Her, reluctantly agreed to take her in. Thus, began a mutually unhappy relationship that lasted for about 12 years. There was much consternation over Kitty Girl’s leaping onto tables, weaving through lamps, statues, collectors items, detritus, as well as attacking the occasional visiting dog (especially her nemesis, Buckley). In fairness, Kitty Girl tried to mitigate Mom’s dislike by bringing her dead mice and chipmunks, but that didn’t cut any ice.

Buckley

After many long years of co-existing with my mother in their perfunctory relationship, we brought her back.  Our other pets had passed away and we felt honor-bound to try and set things right.  Kitty Girl agrees that we have finally stepped up and given her due.

What amazes me is her tenacity and outstanding survival skill.  I mean, she has had to be TOUGH to survive living by her wits and then living with my Mother. Talk about having EGO STRENGTH and a WILL to OVERCOME — SHE’S GOT IT!!

Even at 77 she still likes to play and rough house. I hear her feral hunting whines and cries as she pounces on toys and tries to tear them apart. On one of her first nights in our old house she brought me a love token of a half-dead mouse at about 3 a.m. It was pretty terrifying to be awakened by the wild screams of both animals and a little mouse dropped right beside my head. But, the girl’s gotta do what the girl’s gotta do, right? I only hope that I can make that same claim when I reach her age (not hunting for mice). It’s inspiring to see someone who still holds onto that fierce spirit and keeps on truckin’!

       

I know that she is an ANIMAL, but, I have learned a lot from this little Tough Mama. Kitty Girl looks at me and says, “Me-Rew! You’re damn straight I’m tough!”

Here’s to Kitty Girl and Staying in Touch With YOUR BAD SELF in 2018!